Ten top tips for blushing brides

OK, so it’s officially wedding week. I’ve got the shoes, I’ve had my hair done, the manicure is booked. Yes, on Saturday my good friend Kathy takes the matrimonial plunge. Apparently there are other wedding celebrations this week, too. In honour of all brides currently going slightly mad worrying about place settings and whether the buttonholes match the napkins, here are my top ten tips for a happy day:

  1. Your main job today is smiling. Smile, smile, smile till your face hurts. Someone tells you you’re looking lovely? Smile. Someone tells you the car is running late and the florist is down with swine flu? Smile. Someone asks you a question? Smile. Unless the question is ‘Do you, Kathleen Rose…’ in which case smile and say ‘I do.’.
  2. Don’t make a speech. Sit back and let the men do the work. You’ll be the centre of attention anyway, without having to worry about speaking.
  3. It’s too late to change your mind. About anything, from whether to wear your hair up or down, to where to put the flowers, to whether you’re doing the right thing. Any decisions you’ve already made were made when you were sane and capable. Today you’re a bride and therefore not sane. Trust your former, saner self.
  4. Get your outfit sorted out the night before, and make it clear that you have priority in the bathroom in the morning. Fighting over who gets the first shower will do nothing for your serenity.
  5. Sit down as much as possible, unless your wedding shoes are unusually comfortable. You’ll need those feet to dance on in the evening.
  6. If it all goes horribly wrong, remember Charles and Di. The best weddings don’t necessarily make for the best marriages.
  7. Eat something at breakfast time. Otherwise, at some point, you’ll find yourself drinking champagne on an empty stomach. No-one wants to see the bride throw up.
  8. Stop working (or thinking about work) at least 24 hours before the wedding. I once saw a bride fill out a job application while having her hair done. Madness.
  9. Have a manicure. Even if you never have a manicure, today is the one day in your life that people will actually ask to look at your hands.
  10. Marry the right man. Nothing else matters.
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